Three Common Mistakes when Developing Leaders
It all started when I was in my mid twenties. That was when I first experienced the reality that I can’t do it all myself. Actually, I’m sure I experienced this fact much earlier in life but I was too young and arrogant to admit it. Anyway, I remember specifically feeling the need for more leaders. Without new leaders it seemed that every solution to my leadership problems was short lived. No, I needed long-term solutions.
So I picked up a John Maxwell book on developing leaders and I was hooked. Developing Leaders was what my life was going to be about.
The problem was that as good as the books and seminars were there was one variable that no theory or principle could prepare me for. People. People are not very predictable nor did they cooperate with what I wanted them to do. So as I aspired to develop leaders I made every mistake that you could possibly make.
Here are three of my biggest blunders …
I live in the suburbs of Chicago. It’s Winter 2013-14.
We’ve had a LOT of snow (more coming this weekend!). And it’s been really, really cold this winter.
Funny thing is, I actually LOVE winter. I prefer the cold over the heat because, well, you can wear more clothes if it’s cold. But you can’t really do much if it’s hot, humid and muggy (which isn’t too rare in Chicagoland in the summer).
But – I’m weary now. Tired of it. Had enough.
Ever get that way? With anything?
In our Multiplying Ministry leadership groups we always begin with the question “When did you first know that you were a leader?” As we wrestle with our memories of leadership there is a theme that circulates through most of our minds. It seems that most of us first thought of ourselves as leaders when someone else called it out in us.
“My teacher gave me added responsibilities.”
“My Youth Pastor told me that I had great promise.”
“My mom believed I could influence others.”
Years ago when my daughter turned 5, she received a kit to grow your own fish. When it came time to set it up, she refused my help and was adamant about doing it herself. I decided to let her do it on her own and thought it would be a valuable lesson in learning how to care for something. We went through the directions of how to care for the fish so they would grow and days went by with no care or attention on her part because other things took priority. Needless to say, the water became murky and the fish never grew because their environment wasn’t cultivated.
When I was very young, I had it all figured out. I was going to be an astronaut. (Am I betraying my age by sharing this?)
I got busy learning about astronomy, mathematics and the physics of flight. I drank Tang (if you know what this is, you’re just as old as me!).
Of course then summertime came and I was distracted riding my bike and exploring in the woods. So I decided that instead, I’d be a daredevil. So I built ramps and jumped over stuff. I climbed on every roof I could and jumped off. I attached ropes to tree branches and jumped from increasingly higher parts of the tree to see how far I could swing. The list was long and grew by the endless days of summer that passed.
Psychologists tell us that our personality doesn’t really change after we reach the age of 5 or 6. It doesn’t mean that we don’t change, just our personalities don’t. I am stuck with mine.
Well, organizations have personalities too. We call this organizational personality “culture”. It is who we are. Culture seems to be a mix of what is important to us, values and priorities, and then how we show these values and priorities to the rest of the world. Unfortunately many organizations seem to have a split personality. It’s as if they lack one crucial dynamic: Alignment. There can inadvertently be a functional disconnect between what they value and what they do. Behaviors that align with values are crucial to having a healthy, whole organizational personality.
In my last post, I wrote that sometimes, no matter what we say in response to a question, the listener can sometimes be singularly focused only on the answer they want to hear, and not on the actual reply. I think it may be because we often get too specific in how we think, talk and ask questions. What do you think?
A funny thing happened to me the other day. A trustee of an influential foundation asked me how our business helps non-profits achieve excellence in leadership. I was really pleased to get this question, because most often I simply get the proverbial “what do you do?” question.
I thought to myself, “Wow! Here’s my chance to really share with someone who’s influential how my company helps non-profits develop a truly ‘reproducing’ leadership culture!”
The other day I drove by one of those speed radar’s in my neighborhood that captures how fast you are going. As I came closer to the radar it started flashing because I was going too fast, so I applied the brakes to slow down. I thought to myself, “Wouldn’t it be nice to have some sort of internal radar that flashed when we found ourselves going too fast through life?”
The truth is, our days can be full of tasks and challenges that can bring on stress. When we feel like we will never get everything accomplished on our “to do” list, is exactly when we need to pay attention to that internal radar and apply the brakes. We need to realize and discover the value of SOUL LISTENING!
Soul listening is looking inside to see what mind-set we have in the moment and evaluating whether or not we want to change it. It is a time to re-charge our batteries and rest.